Inane Thoughts: Diary of a Frustrated Writer

Short blog today, as I am working on a countdown of my top ten Christmas songs (because you can never too many lists at this time of year. What? Oh…).

Anyway, I’m starting a theme today that I will try and pick up now and again, whenever I think of something sufficiently amusing.

The theme is: Lessons That I Have Learnt From The Movies.

Note: this does require you to have seen these movies. I cannot be blamed if you’re not sufficiently cultured to have seen classics like Forrest Gump or Big.

Lesson #1: Forrest Gump.

  • If you chase a disabled child they will eventually learn to run. They may, however, find it difficult to stop demonstrating to you that they can run. Bloody show offs.

Lesson #2: American History X

  • Racism is easy to cure. All that needs to happen is for every racist to commit a crime e.g. a white supremacist caving a black man’s head in. They will then go to prison, hopefully. Whilst in prison, they will end up sharing duties with a hilarious person of the same race that they hate. Then their racism will be cured. Fact.

Lesson #3: Big

  • It’s not ok for a 30 year old woman to have sexual relations with a 13 year old boy, unless that 13 year old boy has the body of a 30 year old man. Then it’s fine and not at all weird.

Lesson #4: Good Will Hunting

  • If you are a troubled genius, then you will be a troubled genius with an aptitude for all subjects, not just maths or physics, for example. You will also be a troubled genius at law, history and whatever other subject you happen to run into a conversation about in a bar fight. In short, you will be a troubled genius with a memory akin to that of ebullient, yet sporadically furious robot Johnny 5.

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